FASHION WORLD ON CRIMSON ALERT!






PHOTO CREDIT:
Steph Lehman
/STEPHLEHMAN.COM

STORY BY:
By:Julia Reed
/VOGUE

NEW YORK CITY - Yesterday a LensCrafters in the Big City Mall was robbed. Police suspect the crime boss that goes by the name of "Windows" [see picture above]. She, along with her sidekick Barkley, have made plans to send this year's Fashion Week into chaos. Big City's police force has warned all of the fashion designers that are presenting in this year's show.

In a shocking move, Gwen Stefani has approached the Big City Police Department to contact Rakeman with the hopes that he would help her. "This is the first time that anyone has ever asked for us to contact him", says the chief of police, "and we had to make some big decisions". Mark Giglop, the agent for Gwen Stefani, said at a recent press conference, "My client has expressed a huge concern over the threat made by Windows.

This move caused a large outcry from the city. "Just because she's got money, she gets to call Rakeman?" said Jean Levine, a resident of the city's southside. "My house was robbed last night and I called the police before it happened, I had this feeling that it was going to happen, so I called the police. They just sent a patrol car over and he didn't even stop. Why couldn't they send Rakeman?".

Giglop responded, "Gwen wants to ensure that her first fashion show goes off without a hitch, that is why she has asked him to watch over the show. There was no money involved. She just wanted to ask. It was important to her".

The police department contacted Rakeman and he agreed to watch over the show. Though usually silent, Rakeman had only one thing to say about his first appearance out of Big City. "Windows is a danger to everyone, not just the people of Big City. She is a menace and I am going to stop her." At press time, Fashion Week is drawing to a close and Windows has not made an appearance. Critics made a claim that Rakeman could have been better served back home in Big City.

Was it in fact Rakeman and Hoeboy's presence on the runway that kept Windows at bay? The jury is still out.

6 People Have Sounded off about this story.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

ARRESTED!
Rakeman catches "The Advocator"
Lily Tomlin|ASSOCIATED PRESS

By:Violet Newstead
THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
THE CAPITAL BUILDING- Today in what has been described as a stunning display, Rakeman has brought the man calling himself "The Advocator" to justice. A man that has instilled fear and dread to the general public, "The Advocator" has been in the center of a large scale ring of crime. "He has been responsible for harassing many of our cities leaders. He has kidapped Councilman Huberts son Michael. He is just a bad guy in ever sense of the phrase.", says Franklin M. Hart Jr., the police detective handling the case. Many citizens of our town have questioned why it has taken so long to catch this criminal. "It has just been a shot in the dark on where we can find him. We would go in [to a suspected hideout] and he wouldn't be there. The place had been deserted". Earlier today, the police got a surprise on their doorstep. "Rakeman brought him (The Advocator) to us, he was practically gift wrapped", says Hart. When questioned about how he caught The Advocator, Rakeman said he had been in the "right place at the right time", which is something that our police force has obviously not been able to accomplish.

9 People Have Sounded off about this story.




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