NEW! FRIENDS OF RAKEMAN SHOW SUPPORT IN FANCLUB!
Leelee Sobieski/ASSOCIATED PRESS

By:Grant Shaud
THE ASSOCIATED PRESS


CITY HALL - Earlier today, Rakeman, who in many circles has been named savior of Big City, came to City Hall to answer questions about alleged sexual harrasment at a party. The allegations are believed to have been started by a anti-Rakeman group named "The Leaf Blowers". Rakeman took to the podeum at 11:32am and took only one minute to deliver his plea for understanding. "I know that many of you have seen photos of someone that looks like me. That person is grabbing a woman in an inappropriate way. I come here to tell you that I am not the man in the photo. I did not have sexual relations with that woman. I know some of you do not care for me and for one reason or another choose to spread lies and hatred towards me and my partner Hoeboy. I want each and everyone of the citizens of this good town to know that I am here to stay and no amount of photo manipulation will change my dedication to this town and its people." The crowd of writers and photographers spung to life as Rakeman turned and walked out of the room. He refused to ask any questions. Sources close to Rakeman say that he if hurt by the accusations, escpecially since he had just saved the city from Godzilla. Photos of the battle are available as wallpaper in the download section of bigcitynews.blogspot.com

14 Comments:

Blogger Trav said...

LOL!!!
I freakin' LOVE IT!
I know Joe is laughing his ass off...
And Steph: I LOVE that wallpaper girl! LOL!

7:25 PM  
Blogger swirlogirl said...

AHHHHHHHHHHAAAA! way to take the high road rakeman!!

11:53 PM  
Blogger steph said...

you know what's awesome about that image? i couldn't find any good photos from movies, so he's fighting a toy godzilla. also, i had rakeman's love child last year and he hasn't sent me ONE RED CENT of child support!

11:56 AM  
Blogger swirlogirl said...

OHHHH SNAPS!

3:34 PM  
Blogger swirlogirl said...

josh and steph look hot in their masks! i'll do mine soon!

11:32 PM  
Blogger steph said...

you know it!!!

they made up their minds,
and they got to packing
left before the sun came up that day
an exit to eternal summer slacking
but where were they going
without ever knowing the way

(jenn, i'm picturing you running into the grocery store screaming "NOOOOOO!" at the top of your lungs with me chasing you singing this at the top of my lungs)

4:14 PM  
Blogger swirlogirl said...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

5:04 PM  
Blogger Trav said...

Steph and Josh-
I LOVEEEEEEEEE the pics!
That shit is hilarious!
Who's giant fork is that?
That would do some damage fo' realz!

6:33 PM  
Blogger swirlogirl said...

steeph does damage to giant salads with that thing!

8:50 AM  
Blogger steph said...

ahahahhhhaha i found that at a thrift store in madison - it used to be dark brown but i thought it'd be more forky if i made it silver. so i got this stuff called rub and buff at the ol' hobby lobby and that shit comes right off on your hands. still haven't gotten around to sealin' it up with some clear coat and i did it like 2 years ago...

9:44 AM  
Blogger swirlogirl said...

she also uses it on her butt. the rub and buff

2:37 PM  
Blogger steph said...

my butt doesn't stay so shiny silver on its own, you know!

6:52 PM  
Blogger steph said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

6:52 PM  
Blogger swirlogirl said...

oooh somebody said something dirty!

9:01 AM  

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