Big City News Network

FOUND!

2005-12-14T02:29:00.000-04:00

RAKEMAN AND HOEBOY SPOTTED AFTER LONG ABSENCE
Gedde Watanabe/BBC WORLD NEWS

By:Mike Baker
BIG CITY NEWS

YANGSHUO MOUNTAINS, CHINA- It has been nearly three months since we last heard from our fair city's superhero duo of Rakeman and Hoeboy. The last time we heard from them they were in New York protecting Gwen Stephani's fashion show. The show ended on September 28th. Since that time nobody, including our own police chief has not seen or heard from the heros.

"It's a little disturbing that they have not been here. Is it something we did?", asks Carole Cook, a grandmother of two. That was the question many of the citizens of Big City have been asking for some time.

The location of Rakeman and Hoeboy has been a mystery that has gone unsolved until now.

Yesterday, a photographer for the BBC World News spotted Rakeman and Hoeboy in the mountains of Yanshuo in China. "I could not believe it. I was taking photos of the mountain range and the ancient temple when I saw them.", he said. They quickly ran after I took the photo. I questioned the monks inside about Rakeman and Hoeboy but they were unable to give me any answers to my questions.

"WINDOWS" AT LARGE

2005-09-28T14:09:00.000-04:00

FASHION WORLD ON CRIMSON ALERT!

PHOTO CREDIT:
Steph Lehman/STEPHLEHMAN.COM

STORY BY:
By:Julia Reed/VOGUE

NEW YORK CITY - Yesterday a LensCrafters in the Big City Mall was robbed. Police suspect the crime boss that goes by the name of "Windows" [see picture above]. She, along with her sidekick Barkley, have made plans to send this year's Fashion Week into chaos. Big City's police force has warned all of the fashion designers that are presenting in this year's show.

In a shocking move, Gwen Stefani has approached the Big City Police Department to contact Rakeman with the hopes that he would help her. "This is the first time that anyone has ever asked for us to contact him", says the chief of police, "and we had to make some big decisions". Mark Giglop, the agent for Gwen Stefani, said at a recent press conference, "My client has expressed a huge concern over the threat made by Windows.

This move caused a large outcry from the city. "Just because she's got money, she gets to call Rakeman?" said Jean Levine, a resident of the city's southside. "My house was robbed last night and I called the police before it happened, I had this feeling that it was going to happen, so I called the police. They just sent a patrol car over and he didn't even stop. Why couldn't they send Rakeman?".

Giglop responded, "Gwen wants to ensure that her first fashion show goes off without a hitch, that is why she has asked him to watch over the show. There was no money involved. She just wanted to ask. It was important to her".

The police department contacted Rakeman and he agreed to watch over the show. Though usually silent, Rakeman had only one thing to say about his first appearance out of Big City. "Windows is a danger to everyone, not just the people of Big City. She is a menace and I am going to stop her." At press time, Fashion Week is drawing to a close and Windows has not made an appearance. Critics made a claim that Rakeman could have been better served back home in Big City.

Was it in fact Rakeman and Hoeboy's presence on the runway that kept Windows at bay? The jury is still out.

ARRESTED!

2005-09-01T19:01:00.000-04:00

Rakeman catches "The Advocator"
Lily Tomlin|ASSOCIATED PRESS

By:Violet Newstead
THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
THE CAPITAL BUILDING- Today in what has been described as a stunning display, Rakeman has brought the man calling himself "The Advocator" to justice. A man that has instilled fear and dread to the general public, "The Advocator" has been in the center of a large scale ring of crime. "He has been responsible for harassing many of our cities leaders. He has kidapped Councilman Huberts son Michael. He is just a bad guy in ever sense of the phrase.", says Franklin M. Hart Jr., the police detective handling the case. Many citizens of our town have questioned why it has taken so long to catch this criminal. "It has just been a shot in the dark on where we can find him. We would go in [to a suspected hideout] and he wouldn't be there. The place had been deserted". Earlier today, the police got a surprise on their doorstep. "Rakeman brought him (The Advocator) to us, he was practically gift wrapped", says Hart. When questioned about how he caught The Advocator, Rakeman said he had been in the "right place at the right time", which is something that our police force has obviously not been able to accomplish.

SCHOOL DAZE

2005-08-18T13:48:00.000-04:00

Rakeman speaks to students on first day of school.
Barbara Balzac/ASSOCIATED PRESS

By:Joanne Glaberston
THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

JOHN WAYNE GACEY HIGH SCHOOL- Today, the children of Big City returned to school. Many of the students got an opportunity to meet our city's hero Rakeman. He was starting to make appearances in town to soften his image. "Rakeman wanted to speak to the children in hopes that his message could be spread to the parents.", said Linda Detwhiler, 9th grade teacher at John Wayne Gacey High School. Rakeman had been under the magnifying glass in recent weeks since he first made his appearance in our city. Many people claim that Rakeman is not a savior but a sinner. He has been blamed for many of the problems in town, yet no evidence has been found to support the claims. By making these visits, along with the press conference last week, Rakeman hopes to gain the support and belief of the people of our town. "The students seemed impressed by Rakeman and his Rake of Justice. They enjoyed hearing about Rakeman's method of catching criminals.", Detwhiler said. One student's parent showed support by donning one of the Rakeman masks available in the Jr. Rakeman Fan Club on our website.

CLAIMING INNOCENCE

2005-08-04T18:03:00.000-04:00

NEW! FRIENDS OF RAKEMAN SHOW SUPPORT IN FANCLUB!
Leelee Sobieski/ASSOCIATED PRESS

By:Grant Shaud
THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

CITY HALL - Earlier today, Rakeman, who in many circles has been named savior of Big City, came to City Hall to answer questions about alleged sexual harrasment at a party. The allegations are believed to have been started by a anti-Rakeman group named "The Leaf Blowers". Rakeman took to the podeum at 11:32am and took only one minute to deliver his plea for understanding. "I know that many of you have seen photos of someone that looks like me. That person is grabbing a woman in an inappropriate way. I come here to tell you that I am not the man in the photo. I did not have sexual relations with that woman. I know some of you do not care for me and for one reason or another choose to spread lies and hatred towards me and my partner Hoeboy. I want each and everyone of the citizens of this good town to know that I am here to stay and no amount of photo manipulation will change my dedication to this town and its people." The crowd of writers and photographers spung to life as Rakeman turned and walked out of the room. He refused to ask any questions. Sources close to Rakeman say that he if hurt by the accusations, escpecially since he had just saved the city from Godzilla. Photos of the battle are available as wallpaper in the download section of bigcitynews.blogspot.com

IS LIGHTNING TO BLAME?

2005-07-28T21:40:00.000-04:00

Rakeman protects residents
PETER GIBBONS/ASSOCIATED PRESS

By:Danny Tanner
GETTY IMAGES

LITTLEBURG-Just outside the border of Big City, a freak accident occurred. A power line snapped in two and almost hit a speeding car. Just as the pole came crashing to the earth, it was stopped by the powerful rake of our city's new savior. "Rakeman just appeared out of nowhere and held that power line up with his rake.", said Jackson Wyoming, an area laborer who was cutting the grass on the side of the road at the time. "I heard this loud crash like thunder and lightning and then the pole started to fall. Rakeman saved that car over there." A group of residents known as `The Leaf Blowers', have been speaking out about Rakeman and Hoeboy. "I know that Rakeman was behind this [pole breaking], he just so happened to be there when it happened. If you ask me, that's impossible.", said Victor Jolson, the spokesman for the group. Rakeman and Hoeboy could not be reached for comment.

JUNIOR RAKEMAN CLUB OPENS

2005-07-23T11:05:00.000-04:00

Slow news day in Big City!
Holybuzz/Flickr

By:Bringles the Clown
JOLLY TELEVISION ENTERTAINER
Hey kids! We've got some exciting news for you. We have opened up the first section of the Junior Rakeman Club! That's right, the moment you have been waiting for is finally here! So click you interweb browsers to Big City News Online and click on the Junior Rakeman Club on the bottom left of the page! See you there!

RAKEMAN SAVES CITIZEN

2005-07-15T14:04:00.000-04:00

Movie shoot turns deadly.

Jennifer Norwood stops for a photo with her hero Rakeman.Wendy Sikorski/AMATUR PHOTOGRAPHER

By:Greg Falkenhiemer
BIG CITY NEWS

DOWNTOWN-Today, the cast and crew of "Living La Vida Loca", were shocked to find that a bomb was hidden in one of the dressing rooms of one of the stars. "Luckily, once the bomb was discovered, Rakeman was called and he took care of the situation", says Phillip J. Fry, one of the technicians working on the bio-pic. As most of our citizen's know, the film is based on the writings of Jennifer Norwood, who stars as herself in the film. The bomb was discovered in her dressing room. "I couldn't believe that someone would try to kill me. What is that all about?", the young starlett said after the dramatic event. "Rakeman saved my life. He's a true hero."

FIRST CALL FOR NEW HEROES

2005-07-11T17:34:00.000-04:00

New signal saves beloved cat

PHOTO CREDIT:
Richard Menkowitz/GETTY IMAGES

STORY BY:
By:Linda Huffinger/BIG CITY NEWS

KINGSTON FALLS - Today city leaders used the new "Rake symbol" to summon the city's new heros. There was speculation on whether or not the new symbol would be able to be effective in summoning the new heros during the day. "We also have established a direct line of communication with Rakeman", police chief Dwight Yokum said in a recent press conference, "There is a phone in my office that connects directly to Rakeman."

The city was anxious to try the new system and was crossing its fingers for its success. At 11:36am, Big City got its chance. Little Lisa Beaty of the Kingston Falls neighborhood called the local fire department to ask for help.

"My kitty is stuck in the tree", Lisa says in the recording of the call she made to the fire department. Unfortunately, the fire brigade was already busy fighting the fire at Charo's Wax Museum on 38th street. "We just had nobody to send to help", dispatcher Sheila Smalton said.

So Sheila did the best thing she could think of, she contacted the police chief. He too had no one to spare, so he summoned Rakeman. He arrived moments later at the police station where the Chief Yokum quickly told him what was happening. Without wasting a breath, he was off to save the cat. He arrived in front of Lisa Beaty's and greeted the crying little girl.

"He told me to not be afraid and that he was going to help Peppermint." Rakeman then used his rake to pick the small, frightened and nonchalant cat out of the tree and back into the waiting arms of Lisa. The entire event lasted no longer than ten minutes, which put to rest the fears of the town in the response time of our city's new hero.

NOTE: Please check tomorrows paper as we investigate the negligence of the Big City police force.

HE IS HERE TO HELP

2005-07-05T20:59:00.000-04:00

Rakeman reveals his plan to the world
Sal Shugrass/ASSOCIATED PRESS

By:Jack Trougson
THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

BLEEDING HEART MILITARY BASE - In a sudden press conference held on the training grounds of Bleeding Heart military base, the local police and commissioners told the world about a new ally in their war on crime. His name, Rakeman and he has a sidekick named Hoeboy. The two have been seen recently around town and have raised many questions about who they are and what they want. "These two fine symbols of integrity are currently and will always look for ways to keep our cities safe.", Commissioner Joe Flobson said today to reporters. He went on to say that the city has been provided a signal to send to the duo alerting them to our cities need for assistance. "It will shine bright in the sky, a clear message to any wrong doers who think about entering our city."

EXPLOSIONS RIP RIVERWALK

2005-07-01T12:11:00.000-04:00

School Field Trip turns deadly.
Steven Walker/ASSOCIATED PRESS

By:Lisa Williamson
THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

RIVERWALK - Mrs. Dimpleson's class was expecting an exciting day as they took a field trip from Robert Stack Elementary School to visit the new refracting pyramid museum along the new Riverwalk complex. The excitement that they were expecting was replaced by a different type all together. "The was all this loud noise, like the building was mad or something.", said Elvira Newport, age 9. She and 15 of her fellow classmates were inside the new museum when a woman dressed as a clown entered the main exhibit space and began robbing the museum of some of its most cherished works. "It was odd, she just walked in the door, paid the admission and then started robbing the place. In front of everyone. She must have been crazy.", said James Glubson who was working as a security guard at the time. "She had a seltzer bottle filled with something. She said was going to blow the place up." The calm group turned panicked when they heard of the mad woman's plan. "The children were crying for help, they were crying for their mommies and daddies". The children's cries for help seemed to be heard and they were soon out of harms way. Witnesses describe a loud crash coming from the roof and when they looked up, they saw two men rappelling down two zip lines. The odd woman seemed to know who they were, she looked up and screamed out their name. "She said `Rakeman and Hoeboy, you can't stop me, It's already begun!", and she disappeared in a cloud of smoke. The duo didn't seem to mind that she was gone. They just worked quickly to get the children out of harms way.

Photo by: Monique Brown/AGE 9

The liquid that the clown woman was spraying was now on fire and it was spreading. The children were crying in fear. "The two heroes kept telling the children it would be alright." They were attached to the zip line that they came down and shot to the top of the building and then zipped across the river to safety. While being rescued, Mrs. Dimpleson thanked her rescuers and asked who they were. "The younger of the two said that he was Rakeman and that she was going to be safe as long as he and his partner Hoeboy were watching.", she said. "I don't know why, but all the panic and nervousness that I felt was gone once he said that. I honestly believe our city will be safer with the two of them here to help us."

BIG CITY'S NEW STARS

2005-06-28T01:36:00.000-04:00

The city asks: "Just who are these two?
Kim Wan Hi/AMATUR PHOTOGRAPHER

By: John Macullin
THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

BIG CITY- A young woman was on her way home from a near by shopping center when she felt as though she was being followed. Her suspicions came to be try when she was chased down a dark alley by two masked men. "It was very scary", the woman said of her ordeal. She has asked to remain nameless to protect herself. The assailants were wrestling her to the ground when a voice came from the darkness. The voice was hard to understand but it was enough to stop her attacker in his tracks. "The was this man. He was dressed in a cape and some high rising pants. "

The woman can only remember little about the next few moments. The caped man fought off one of the men and the other one ran away in fear. "I was so scared of what was happening that I just ran. As I was running, another man came and joined the man in the cape." She ran into the arms of a visitor to our fair city. She quickly explained what had just happened. Kim Wan Hi, a native of Kyoto, Japan, ran into the alley and snapped a picture before the two mysterious figures left the scene. "I never got a chance to say `thank you'.", the young woman said.

The quick disappearance of the two men has raised questions in our city. Who are they? Will we see them again? Who do they work for? and Why the mystery?

I for one, hope that this is not the last we see of these two.